anxious and horny
what a weird fucking mix lol
it’s times like this that I wish I had a fuck buddy
friend with benefits
idk
someone who could comfort me but also fuck my brains out
that’d be cool
hey potential hookup you should text me again :9　 

denifed-nu:

“Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation. Depression is humiliating. If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life. It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. Depression is humiliating. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.”

(Quelle: sherunsfromdarkness)

ps it’s a good fucking thing I’m not tumblr famous or someone might give a fuck about my life.

hdbfahsf
I almost want to kill myself just because of how sucky that was
and i’ll leave a note that says “I ended it because I hate myself and my life. And also because I’m a spiteful bitch and that lifeline shit was terrible and didn’t help in anyway. Just awkward and I could tell the lady didn’t want to talk to me at all. She gave me a number to call but after that fucking mess I couldn’t bring myself to try again. So bye xoxo”

the suicide hotline doesn’t do shit. yey thank you for talking to me for five minutes and then shoving me off to another number.

I FEEL SO LOVED AND LIKE YOU TOTALLY CARE ABOUT ME AND EVERYTHING

FUCKING THANKS.

According to my palm I’m supposed to have a near death experience soon. I’m pretty sure it is going to be a suicide attempt…